buttfactory:

my brother and i are alike in the way that we are funnier than all of our friends but none of our friends realize this

i have one shirt that constantly smells like sunscreen no matter how many times i wash it.

goldenspine:

i’m jealous of 
your pillows
and of your sheets

i want to hear
the sound of
your heartbeat 

my grandma’s claim to fame, is that once she was in the same airport as the beatles.

I hate my school but if you don’t go there and you make fun of it, it’s war.

my mom’s friend just called me to ask how to make bacon in the microwave.